There is only one thing worse

Than when you’re feeling ill.

It’s when you have a little toddler

And they’re ill as well. 🤒

…

In days gone by you’d take to bed,

A box set in your hand.

Now there is no time to wallow.

Their wish is your command.

…

So it’s a matter of survival

And there is just one way.

You have to try and kid yourself

You actually feel ok. 😩

I had the time to clean before

I had a little one.

But now I have a cleaner. THE

Best thing I’ve ever done!

…

Twice a month she cleans the bathrooms

Surfaces and floors.

When I come home from work it’s done.

I couldn’t love her more. 😍

…

But I think that husband likes her

Even more than me.

Now that he pays for the cleaner

He gets off scot-free! 🙄

Now I’m a mum I think of things

Ten times before I get

Around to actually doing them.

Sometimes I just forget. 😬

…

Now husband’s bought an echo and

It’s ready to assist.

Now we say, ‘Alexa, please

Add nappies to the list’.

…

But she has her limitations.

She’s been known to fail.

I would love Alexa more

If she could cut my nails. 🤔

Remember when your Valentine’s

Was fizz and a nice meal.

Perfume, chocolates, steak for two.

So spoiled you would feel. 😍

…

Now, (if a babysitter

You’ve managed to find),

You won’t be ordering champagne

And you’ll be home by nine. 😫

…

So if staying home is on the cards,

And you’ve worked all day,

Go ahead and treat yourself.

Order takeaway. 😜

I used to eat quite healthily

And had my five a day.

Junk food didn’t interest me.

I’d not be led astray.

…

But something happens when you have

A child. They seem to make

You scoff a lot of Mars Bars and

Consume a lot of cake. 🤔

…

Now I’m back at work I’m trying

Not to be as bad,

You never know, one day I might

Have fruit and a salad. 😇

My Fitbit never nags me.

It’s got nothing to say,

As even in the house I do

10,000 steps a day.

…

My friend stayed over recently

And said to me in shock,

‘You were always on the go before,

But now you just don’t stop!’. 😲

…

But such is life for working mums.

We all know how it feels,

To keep on clocking up those steps

Like hamsters on a wheel. 🏃🏽‍♀️

Two things I said I’d never do,

When I became a Mummy,

Were let them watch too much TV,

Or supply them with a dummy.

…

And now that I’ve become a Mum,

I know that was naive.

I’ve done things that my former self

Just would not believe!

…

But when I’m up for work at 6

I’ll happily admit,

At 3am it’s dummy time!

(I’m such a hypocrite). 😩

My favourite things about going to work

Are, not surprisingly,

Going to the toilet on my own

And finishing cups of tea. 😍

…

Oh it’s nice to read an article,

As every parent knows,

Without the 15 verses of

‘Head shoulders knees and toes’.

…

And even lunching at my desk

Is a relaxing place to be,

When no one’s chanting on repeat

‘Mummy’, ‘Mummy’, ‘MUMMY!’.

I was chatting to this bloke last night,

Said husband was his name.

He seemed to know me anyway,

So that backed up his claim.

…

His schedule’s even worse than mine,

It really is hardcore.

We start bedtime routine as soon as

He gets in the door.

…

Some nights we’ll snatch a half hour chat

Before we both pass out. 😴

Maybe someday we will get

A chance to just hang out.

Does high street shopping still exist?

I wish I had the time.

Online shopping’s my best pal.

I do love Amazon Prime. 😍

…

Delivery vans are constantly

Arriving at our door,

To the point we can’t remember

What we’ve ordered any more. 😬

…

And lunch from Pret just doesn’t count

When I am on the run.

One day I’ll take a longer lunch,

Go shopping just for fun. 😏