Black Friday

Black Friday? It can eff off. I

Don’t care how much you save.

The thought of going to the shops?

I’m really not that brave. 😝

Add a toddler to the mix,

Now that would be self harm.

Those queues? You’re kidding me, I’d rather 

Chew off my own arm. 😬

In fact, I rarely go out shopping

Now I am a mum.

All my stuff’s from Amazon.

They are my new best chum. 😍

Making the most of it

This week’s going swimmingly,

I must have been so good.

Toddler’s being well behaved 

And eating all their food! 😇

Today, they helped me tidy up,

When they had made a mess.

They’re saying please and thank you all the 

Time. I am impressed. 😊

Could we be so lucky, and 

This could become the norm?

Or is it more likely to be

The calm before the storm? 😈

Happy New Year?

This New Year we’re being brave.

We’re going to take the leap,

We’ll either have a brilliant time,

Or crumple in a heap. 😬

We’re taking toddler on a plane.

We’re off on holiday!

I can’t decide if it will be

A nightmare, or okay. 🤔

So if you guys have any ways 

We can reduce the pain,

Please pass me any useful tips

You think will keep us sane. 🤪

The home straight

My course is nearly finished now.

I have one week to go.

And then I’ll need to find a job,

Become a UX pro. 😊

I’ll really miss my studying.

I have loved every stage.

But it is bye bye student life,

As I must earn a wage. 🤑

However, when I’m qualified,

What I will miss the most 

Is being in the house full time,

And toddler being so close. 😩

What was I thinking?

What did I think I was doing,

Staying out so late?

It was a bloody brilliant night.

Next morning? Not so great. 😬

Not a single drop of booze

Did pass my lips last night.

So how come that I still woke up

Feeling a bit shite. 😩

Mummy must be out of practice.

Yes. That must be it. 

So I just need to pull my socks up,

Come back fighting fit. 😏

That extra hour

No one loved the clocks going back

Quite as much as I did.

Will someone please do me a favour? 

And tell that to my kid? 😩

It used to be a great event,

That extra hour in bed.

These days, all it does is wreck

Our wee routine instead. 😱

It will take bloody weeks for us

To get back in the swing.

By then it will be time to put them

Forward in the spring. 🙄

Ding dong merrily

Anyone else had that alarm

Go off inside their head?

Mine went off at 4am,

Whilst I was still in bed. 😲

How many weeks to go is it?

It can’t be less than 10?

Then dun dun dah, oh shit. It will

Be Christmas time again. 😬

I haven’t bought a single thing!

I’d better move my arse,

Before the queue in every single 

Shop becomes a farce. 🤨

Déjà vu

Bloody hell, this year has just been

Plagued with illnesses.

(You must be getting sick of reading 

Blog posts about this). 🙄

Toddler has got Croup. AGAIN!

For the third time this year.

But keeling over with eyes rolling?

That gave me the fear. 😱

So back to A&E we went

In an ambulance.

She’s fine now, but when they’re that wee,

You just can’t take the chance. 🤒

Halloween is coming

Halloween is coming, there

Can be no doubt of that.

You cannot move in Tesco’s for

A tonne of witches hats. 🙄

I’ve got the pile of sweeties ready.

Should I get some more?

We always seem to get a hundred 

Guisers at the door. 🤔

Toddler’s outfit’s bought, yes it 

Was on the shopping list.

They’ll look so bloomin’ cute in it,

That I could not resist. 😍

Good mood

As far as days go, yesterday

Was really very good. 

Toddler spent the whole day in a

Bloody brilliant mood. 😃

It was smiles all round and not 

A tantrum was in sight.

I didn’t have to raise my voice.

They were just a delight. 😇

It was so nice to have a day 

Without a hissy fit,

And spend the whole day without thinking 

Once, ‘You little shit’. 😜