And so it seems the tables they have

Turned around somehow.

If I displease our toddler then

They will give me a row! 😳

…

When singing ‘The Wheels on the Bus’,

The verses must be right,

Or toddler will take my head off

In one almighty bite. 😲

…

So now, before it’s too late, I must

Get us back on track.

Rage against this small machine,

And take the power back. 😏

There’s one thing that’s sure to make

Mummy say ‘oh crap’,

If toddler drops off in the car

Just before their nap. 😩

…

You cannot get the moving of them

From car to cot wrong.

Careful? You would think that I was

Diffusing a bomb. 😬

…

As one wrong move and they wake up,

Then kiss your day goodbye.

You will not get them back to sleep

And they’ll most likely cry. 😭

Which is the most annoying kiddie

YouTube video?

Could it be the baby that says

“No no no!”. 😝

…

Is it Bob the train you want to

Punch square in the nose?

Or could it be the bear who sings

Head shoulders knees and toes? 🤬

…

Some are so shit that we think

Mate, did you even try?

Watch it ten times? Can I just

Poke myself in the eye? 🤣

Eating out in restaurants, well

It could go either way,

And the thought of it going south’s

Enough to turn you grey. 😱

…

Today we had a model child,

And lunch with no mishaps.

But really only coz we let them

Eat a load of crap. 🤫

…

So most times walking into cafe’s

Like Russian roulette.

You never know which side of toddler

You are going to get. 😬

Toddler, at the moment, is a

Cute noise generator,

Which makes just impossible

For Mummy to berate her. 😇

…

All their words are nearly right,

And that’s what makes it cute.

The way that they say some of them,

It is a total hoot. 😂

…

Some are just the sweetest thing

That I have ever heard.

When toddler masters all of them

I’ll miss these funny words. 😍

Today has been hilarious!

The highlight of this week.

Toddler has now worked out how to

Give us parents cheek. 😂

…

They’ve started answering our questions,

“Nope. Nope. Nope”.

And coz we know we can’t react,

It’s really hard to cope. 😬

…

So, although we’d like to be

Doubled up in half,

We really need to bite our tongues

And try hard not to laugh. 🤭

One thing about summer is it

Stays light really late,

Which means our toddler’s hyper, and it’s

Half past bloody eight. 😩

…

Normally by this time they’ve had

Three books and they’re fed.

They’ve brushed their teeth and washed their face.

They’re sleeping in their bed. 😴

….

But not tonight, it will be a

Late finish we presume.

As we speak, our toddler doing’s

Circuits round the room. 🤣

Most nights toddler sleeps right through

In their cot peacefully,

But on the nights they’re restless I will

Take them in with me. 😌

…

For such a tiny person they sure

Take up loads of bed,

And this can make it challenging

For me to get some zeds. 😩

…

So in the morning you will find me

In my usual place:

Hanging off the edge with a

Small foot wedged in my face. 😂

I know I am a lucky lady

When I look around,

And I’m grateful for the things

In this life I have found. 🙂

…

My baby is just beautiful,

They really are a joy,

And my husband’s so supportive.

He’s a special boy. 😇

…

And so I will remember this

When life throws a curveball,

As when I take a closer look

I really have it all. ☺️

I know that we are British, and

We should appreciate

The few and far between times when

The weather’s bloomin’ great. 😎

…

But when the gro egg’s flashing red,

With that unsettling frown,

Our only mission is to get

The temperature down. 🤨

…

But we have reached the stage when it

Won’t come down any more,

So now we’ve even had to open

Up the attic door. 😂