Why do men have such a problem

Changing dirty nappies?

They will change one when it’s wet

So why not one that’s crappy? 🤔

…

We couldn’t feel less sorry for them

Even if we tried,

As mummies just get on with it.

We take it in our stride. 🤨

…

Remember that the next time you

Complain you get the boke.

As you’re not getting out of it

Just coz you are a bloke. 😜

And so the time has come, my friends,

We cannot be blasé.

From now on we must rein it in, and

Watch the things we say. 🤫

…

Toddler loves to copy us.

They take in everything.

We must be careful what we’re passing

Onto our offspring. 🤔

…

It’s best behaviour from now on,

We must be more aware.

Pretend we’re live on channel 4,

And try hard not to swear. 🤭

There is an activity

Our little one enjoys.

It really is a simple one:

‘To seek and destroy’. 🤨

…

Building stuff is loads of fun, but

Breaking stuff is better.

Toddler would tear down the house,

If Mum and Dad would let her. 😲

…

Maybe for their birthday, we’ll get

Them a wrecking ball.

But judging by the mess they make,

They don’t need one at all. 🤣

This week we’ve been introduced

To a brand new game.

You’ll probably have heard of it,

‘Frustration’ is its name. 😫

…

If we’re asked for something, but

We do not comprehend,

You’d think the world was literally

Just about to end. 😱

…

But, unlike the old board game,

Can you recall the one?,

This game is more like charades,

Except it’s zero fun. 😭

Today we went along to view

The local nursery.

The thought of leaving toddler there

Made Mummy panicky. 😧

…

The place itself was spick and span.

It really was first rate.

The staff were all attentive and

The range of toys was great. 🤓

…

Toddler, they got stuck right in,

With no sign of a fuss.

It looks like it will just be Mummy

Who needs to adjust. 😬

Our perseverance has paid off.

As parents, we have grown.

Our toddler can now fall asleep

In the cot on their own. 😇

…

It only took a few weeks to

Embed the new routine,

But everyone is benefiting

From this new regime. ☺️

…

But don’t congratulate us yet,

As our success is marred.

They’ll only fall asleep if we hold

Their hand through the bars. 😬

You think that kids needs loads of stuff,

But that’s not true at all.

Today our toddler played for hours

With a bouncy ball. 😇

…

They thought this simple little toy

Was just the best thing ever.

Someone gave it to them,

It cost nothing whatsoever. ☺️

…

It goes to show you don’t need money

To amuse your child.

A thing as basic as a ball’s

Enough to make them smile. 😃

Now that it is summertime,

The paranoia’s back.

As, once again, the grobag puzzle,

I attempt to crack. 🧐

…

A one tog or a two tog bag?

A short or long-sleeved vest?

I really do have no idea

Which combination’s best. 🤔

…

And the grobag chart’s no help.

It complicates the riddle.

The gauge does not show ‘one’ or ‘two’,

It’s slap bang in the middle. 🤯

Last night we took the arms bands off,

Stepped into the unknown.

I went off to Yoga. Daddy

Did bedtime alone. 😱

…

I wasn’t sure what I would find

When I stepped through the door.

Toddler watching TV with toys

All over the floor? 😬

…

But instead the house was silent.

Could not hear a peep.

I tiptoed up the stairs to find

Both of them asleep. 😴

What a fuss our toddler makes

When getting their hair done.

You’d think their arms and legs were getting

Pulled off one by one. 😱

…

The very sight of comb or brush

Is sure to turn their tail,

And usually accompanied

By an almighty wail. 😩

…

But to stop the fuss there’s one way

And one way alone.

As if by magic, it’s not sore

When you give them your phone. 🤔